2010 MTV Movie Awards Review June 7, 2010

Sigh. As many of you know the MTV Movie Awards just ended this year and well… yeah. It’s odd how I can remember when films like Se7en, Pulp Fiction and Scream won and now it’s pretty much favored towards teenage girl-tainment. Sure there were a few good winners but overall it was just just awful. But instead of continuing to rant, I’m going to review every winner with my favorite form of internet based communication:

Animated GIFS.

Biggest Badass Star: Rain from Ninja Assassin

Best Scared as S*** Performace: Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer’s Body (Beating District 9, Zombieland, Paranormal Activity and Drag Me to Hell)

Best WTF! Moment: Naked Trunk Surprise from The Hangover

Best Fight: Ali Larter and Beyonce from Obsessed

Best Kiss: Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson from New Moon

Best Comedic Performance: Zack Galafanakis from The Hangover

Best Villain: Tom Felton from Harry Potter

Breakthrough Performance: Anna Kendrick from Up in the Air

Best Female Performance: Kristen Stewart from New Moon

Best Male Performance:Robert Pattinson from New Moon

MTV Generation Award:Sandra Bullock

Global Superstar: Robert Pattinson

Best Movie: New Moon

Interpret any of these as you will but ultimately, with the exception of a select few, this isn’t even a mediocre representation of the “best of” 2009 American movies even ones catered to our youth. If I would this Movie Awards a full review it would be this (ironically from one of the best films of 09):

YO KANYE I’M PROUD OF YOU AND I’LL LET YOU FINISH BUT… September 15, 2009

MICHAEL RICHARDS HAD ONE OF THE BEST PUBLIC APOLOGIES OF ALL TIME

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I Had A Migrane During the VMAs September 14, 2009

Best Video of the Year OF ALL TIME

Beyoncé — “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)”

Best Male Video

T.I. (featuring Rihanna) — “Live Your Life”

Best Female Video

Taylor Swift — “You Belong with Me“ BEYONCE HAD ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!

Best New Artist

Lady Gaga — “Poker Face”

Best Pop Video

Britney Spears – Womanizer

Best Rock Video

Green Day – 21 Guns

Best Hip-Hop Video

Eminem – We Made You

Breakthrough Video (Aka the award that helped me believe MTV still has some credibility as a medium)

Matt and Kim – Lessons Learned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Kanye, this is one of the best videos of all time)

The rest of the night had plenty of highlights including Kanye/T Swift Drama, T Swift singing in the only subway in New York without creepy homeless people, an insane amount of New Moon promotions, Green Day trying to convince people they’re still punk rock, Gabe Saporta and Pete Wentz being rad dudes and of course Lady Gaga making me and everyone else uncomfortably aroused. Below you is the greatest performance in human history. I wish this was sarcasm.

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DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! September 14, 2009

Nerdy Heartbeat’s VMAs: MTV Recognizes Good Music Again. August 24, 2009

The Breakthrough Video Award has nominees from artists you wouldn’t expect from a MTV awards show which is good, damn good. Here are some of my favorite nominees for best Breakthrough Video.

Cold War Kids – I’ve Seen Enough

This totally makes up for the fact that “Single Ladies” got like 20 million nominations. Good MTV, you get a doggie treat.

Download The Reeling

Download Lessons Learned

Epic Win: MTV Redeems Previous Fail With “Is She Really Going Out With Him” June 16, 2009

What won MTV Movie Awards? I forgot. Because today MTV broadcasted a work of genius called Is She Going Out With Him? Created by the guy behind the book and website called Hot Chicks With Douchebags. It has typical the drama and flaws of your average MTV reality show but come on, what’s better than hearing some stereotypical d-bag explain what “dank it up” means. Watch it and fall in love.

Softcore Vampire Film Sweeps MTV Movie Awards. The Intelligent Lose All Respect for MTV June 3, 2009

Once upon a time, a little awards show on a television channel that used to play music was a racy, hilarious and youthful alternative to the Oscars. Such alumni winners were Menace II Society, Pulp Fiction and Se7en. Then, as the channel grew more mainstream, the voters of the awards show began to favor blockbusters and atypical popcorn films. A bit of a decline but understandable. I mean let’s face it most of the MTV audience during the TRL era wouldn’t be the type to like artsy/independent films. They like the summer entertainment. All was going well until last Sunday when something unnatural happened.

This won everything… it won Best Movie, it won Best Breakthrough Male, it Won Best Actress despite Kristen Stewart’s lack of knowing how to act, it Won Best Fight beating out movies that actually had fight scenes. Now my personal bias against the Twilight “saga” aside. Sunday night proved that our generation, the youngest breed of independent American women age 13-25 only care about two things when it comes to an art form:

1. Hot guys

2. Insanely outlandish theatrical romance that they’ll never possibly attain in the real world.

Okay, so I’m overreacting but the MTV Movie Awards are now on the same level as the Teen Choice Awards and has no validity when it comes to expressing the true value of any art form. Congratulations MTV, you’re fanbase is now nothing more than hyper, incompetent and borderline psychotic teenage girls. Enjoy.